How Bonkill Stole Christmas Edit

Audio: Recited by Zombehking

Text: Written by Aquatheadmiral

Everyone down in CivEx liked Christmas a lot.

But Bonkill, who lived just west of Mandis, did NOT!

Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

Mayhaps it was because of Arcation's 6-hunting season.

It could be that his vaults weren't tight.

It could be 'cause Arcation just would not end the damn fight.

But I think the most likely reason of all,

Was that Zer0 was now two sizes too small.

Whatever his reason, his group or what else gives.

He stood there on Civmas Eve hating the Civs.

Staring up from his vault with a sour, Bonkill frown.

As the merry folk bustled and laughed in their town.

For he knew every person who was feeling just fine,

While stuffing themselves with special Reach-wine.

"Look at those fuckers!", he snarled with a sneer,

"All happy and warm, with useless holiday cheer".

And it was true! With Tass passed out, presumably drunk,

And Raph trying to sell Aqua some overpriced junk.

Above, Walkers and Gogyst were directing Arcation's choir,

Who were singing a tune, a tad bit dire.

"Deck the End with Bonkill's buddies,

Fa la la la la, la la la la" they sang,

And the offensive tune, far below it rang. Into Bonkill's angry ears, who practically yelled.

"They kill us and mock us, like poor Rogue and Twist!"

"I'll make sure that Arcation is felled!"

Then he growled, with his long fingers, nervously drumming,

"I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming!"


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